A realistic SI
by dogbertcarroll
Summary: I wrote an SI, a huge thing with multiple chapters and stories. This isn't that. This is my second attempt at writing something that shows what I would actually do if stuck in the Marvelverse with superpowers.


**The Real SI – Second Attempt**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel comics.**

**AN: My first SI attempt was fun, but not me. You can tell because my first response on finding myself reborn as someone like Bruce Wayne would be to hire a dozen people to wear the tights while I relaxed at home and read a book. I made a more serious attempt at writing an SI and it turned out a character that once more wasn't me, he was way too energetic. I'm way too lazy to have any Real SI turn out as anything but boring. Here is my second and final attempt at a Real SI, before I go back to playing with my first attempt who is just so much fun to screw with.**

**Start fic…**

I set the ice chest down and adjusted my beach chair. I barely remembered the sun block, but a precognitive flash reminded me that I'd turn red as a lobster tomorrow if I didn't put some on.

A quick teleport to an abandoned military base hidden in Syberia let me grab the sun block, my alarm clock, and a dozen bowling balls.

I set the alarm to go off a minute before I needed to be up five different times and slathered on the sun screen before popping open a beer and relaxing in the sun.

The alarm goes off what seems like seconds later and I flip it off and pick up my vision book to see what I need to do.

Apparently there's a bank robbery in Ohio that requires my attention. I focus in on the bank using my clairvoyance and see the drugged out whack job who's going to lose it and kill a bunch of people in mid job approaching the bank.

I watch as he slips the teller the note and reaches into his pocket for the gun when she doesn't immediately respond to the gibberish he scribbled out.

I pick up a bowling ball and teleport it three feet above his head. There is a sound like someone smacking two coconuts together in the bank as the robber falls unconscious.

Another miraculous save by … Do I even have a superhero name? Do I need one? Meh, I'll just steal one from another series... Call me … The Bowler!

I snicker to myself and check out the next entry in my book, so I can relax and have another beer, and maybe a nap. Man, being a superhero sure is hard work – I've even broken a sweat... Wait, that's just the heat. I love uncharted islands.

I doze off again and again the alarm wakes me, taking a sip of beer I read my next entry. Power Pack vs some idiot with a sniper rifle who hates mutants. They aren't mutants but I doubt idiot boy really cares.

I focus in with my clairvoyance and find the eyes of Franklin Richards, aka Tattletale looking directly at me.

* * *

"Teleport it two feet higher than you were originally planning," Tattletale says to thin air, causing the rest of Power Pack to stop and stare at him.

"Are you -?" Energizer was about to ask him if he was feeling well when he grinned and thanked the air.

"We need to go over on that roof," he announced, pointing to a building that overlooked where they were meeting.

G-Force grabbed Energizer and Tattletale's hands making the three weightless while Lightspeed towed them over to the higher roof as Mass Master used his cloud form to hide them.

They found an unconscious man with his head buried in the roof and a rifle lying nearby next to a bowling ball.

"What the hell happened here?!" Mass Master asked.

Tattletale pointed to the man whose skin appeared to be made out of stone. "He's a member of Human's First and was aiming a gun at Katie."

"Energizer," Katie responded absently, a bit shocked that someone was planning on shooting her, despite the fact that she was a superhero, but then what ten year old expects to be shot at?

"And the bowling ball?" her eldest brother just turned 15 asked, resisting the urge to toss the stone man off the building.

"There's a precog like me on a beach with a bunch of bowling balls. He just teleports them where they're needed rather than going places in person," Tattletale explained.

"So you were giving him directions?" Lightspeed asked, the second oldest at 14.

"Two feet higher?" Mass Master, two years older than Katie grinned in approval.

"How is a stone man part of a mutant hate group?" Energizer asked, disintegrating the rifle with a growl.

"He wasn't an active mutant until his power activated to save his life," Tattletale explained.

Lightspeed's eyes widened. "You weren't trying to kill him were you?!" she asked anxiously.

Tattletale shook his head. "I knew teleporting the ball one foot higher than the guy on the beach planned would knock him out and activate his powers."

"You said two feet higher," Energizer pointed out.

Tattletale grinned. "People who point guns at Katie deserve to have their heads embedded in a roof."

I chuckle along with them while watching Katie blush, and I wondered if Destiny would see me looking at her, the way Tattletale did.

"I wouldn't!" Tattletale warned the air before plugging his ears, causing the rest of the Pack to follow suit.

* * *

A horrified scream echoes on a beach.

* * *

"Moron," Destiny snorts before continuing her shower. "Peeking into the shower of a woman old enough to be your grandmother, you deserve what you get."

* * *

Tattletale rubbed his ears while everyone else watched him.

"Why did you plug your ears? I didn't hear nothin..." Energizer asked.

"He accidentally looked at Destiny in the shower," Tattletale explained. "And she's like REALLY old. My power protects me from seeing things like that, but his doesn't."

"Poor guy," Mass Master sighed before blinking. "You can use your precog to peek into showers?"

Tattletale slapped a clueless expression on his face, thankful he'd already seen this scene and knew what to say. "My powers mainly work against danger and other precogs, so unless it's like Psycho when one of us is going to get attacked in the shower or a precog is looking at me while in the shower, I don't see showers."

"What about your astral form?" Mass Master asked curiously.

Tattletale almost sighed, he really didn't like doing this, but Jack was really going to complicate his life with these questions and make Katie paranoid if he didn't do this. "My astral form could I guess, I'd rather just walk into the shower. What's the point of being able to be seen and heard without being able to use the bathroom while in it? Your cloud form would blend in with the steam pretty well, or your tiny form could be used and no one would know you were there, but even if not seen you could at least take a shower too."

Lightspeed looked suspiciously at her younger brother in a way that would spell trouble for years to come as he hit his teens and was tempted by the girl's locker room.

* * *

"I need a drink," I said with a shiver and noticed I had one in my left hand.

Problem solved I looked at entry number three, which turned out to be a note to myself warning me not to look into Destiny's shower and calling me a dumbass for not reading ahead in my automatic writing journal to avoid the situation.

Sighing I skipped to entry number four, which just turned out to be a reminder to annoy some idiots today.

The alarm goes off, and I switch it off before nodding to myself and finding some targets. Several minutes later …

Magneto was cursing and rubbing his head, as are several congressmen, Tony Stark, and some boy band that annoyed me.

I take another nap and wake before the alarm again, flipping it off and teleporting it back to Siberia.

Picking up my book, I read the last entry for the day. "Turn around."

Turning around I find that the Swedish Bikini Team didn't drown when their ship went down a week ago in this area.

I love me. I decide, since I have apparently set up this whole scene as a reward for my efforts as a super hero.

Even if my super hero name should really be The Telecommuter.


End file.
